Walk In Love

Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV

¹ Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. ² And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Here we have our third reminder of how we are to walk given our status as God’s children. We once walked according to the ways of the world, following the evil one, as sons of disobedience (Eph 2:2). But now that we have taken on a new family name – being adopted into God’s family – we are to take on the new family’s way of life.

Just as children imitate their parents, we are told to imitate God – watch him and follow his patterns and behaviors.

In 2015 Julius Yego of Kenya won the gold medal in the javelin throw. That’s already impressive enough, but Julius took it to another level – he had no coach. He was self-taught and learned the technique by watching other gold medalists on YouTube. By watching and imitating them he went on to to be an Olympic Champion.

Ephesians 5:2 gives us our role-model in Christ – the perfect image of God, the kind of son or daughter we should all aspire to be. The love that he showed by giving himself up for us is the love the we should imitating. A sacrificial love that puts self at the bottom, washing feet and being buried six-feet under.

That is the love that is acceptable to God. Just as the acceptable sacrifices in the Old Testament gave a pleasing aroma to God, the loving sacrifice of Jesus was pleasing to God.

Not This Kind Of Love…

In imitating the love of Christ, Paul is quick to point out the kind of loves that are most certainly not the self-giving love that pleases God. Just as it is useful to see and imitate proper techniques, a good teacher will also point to the flaws that detract from our imitation of Jesus.

Ephesians 5:3–5 ESV

³ But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. ⁴ Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. ⁵ For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Three sins are mentioned in 5:3 and 5:5.

Sexual immorality
Impurity
Covetousness

Sexual Immorality

Is any sexual relationship outside the boundaries of marriage.

Sex before marriage
Adultery
Pornography
Prostitution
Homosexuality

Impurity

Impurity is anything ‘dirty.’ Just as we talk about someone with a dirty mind, impurity is often paired with sexual immorality.

Covetousness

Also translated as greed in many versions. It is the desire for something that you have no right to. While it can be used to talk about greed for money and possessions it is also often paired with sexual sins – the desire for a person that you have no right to.

Idol Worship

These sins are, in the eyes of God, nothing short of idolatry. For too many it is an all-encompassing passion that is pursued above all else, valued above all else. It is putting love of the creation above love for the creator and bowing down at the image of men and women.

Don’t Even Talk About It

In verse 4, matching the three sins of sexual immorality, impurity, and coveting, are three types of speech to be avoided:

Filthiness
Foolish talk
Crude joking

What makes our talk filthy, foolish, and crude is their content. Seeing as these three ways of talking are bracketed by three sexual sins we should understand this as sexually charged language and joking.

Dirty jokes
Innuendo
Suggestive language

Instead of looking at and talking about the things that we can’t have we are to always be praising God for what he has been giving us. Just as Paul talks about idolatry being an exchange of the creation for the creator, it also stems from being unthankful:

Romans 1:21 ESV

²¹ For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

If we are not thanking God for the fulfillment we can find with our marriages, or the fulfillment we can find outside of sex entirely then we are on the road to an idolatrous lifestyle, sacrificing the inheritance God has given us for cheap flings and X-rated films.

Don’t Be Deceived

And don’t let anyone deceive you with these false loves.

Ephesians 5:6 ESV

⁶ Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.

So much sexual immorality is promoted as love. There’s the slogan used in promoting homosexuality “Love is Love.” All forms of love should be respected and equal regardless of gender. There’s the polite way of referring to sex as ‘making love.’

What both of these sayings imply is that sex is love. And that’s a really shallow understanding of love. If your love of another is solely dependent on your having access to their body for your own pleasure then it’s not love.

It’s a love more in line with 2 Timothy 3

2 Timothy 3:2

² For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,

2 Timothy 3:4–5 ESV

⁴ treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, ⁵ having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

People will try to deceive you into thinking that the sins of sexual immorality, impurity, and greed are forms of love. And since God is love then all that they call love is ok.

And there are so many deceptive ways of rationalizing these sins into something harmless

Ephesians 5:2 ESV

² And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Some people feel owed a fulfilling physical intimacy with their spouse, and as soon as it goes from good to ‘eh’ they hop in bed with someone else. God wants me to have this fulfilling relationship.
It’s victimless. These people are posting their lewds of their own free will. No harm no foul, right?
These sins are very private, so as long as nobody finds out ignorance is bliss.
It’s natural
We’re getting married eventually anyways
It’s a sin that God has to forgive me of (losing inheritance rather than salvation)

These Sins Face the Wrath of God

But as much as they want these sins to be ok, Paul is very clear:

Ephesians 5:6 ESV

⁶ Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.

This picture doesn’t sit well with most people. It strikes plenty as arbitrary. What does God care about what I do with my body and why does he get so mad about it?

Let’s remember why Paul is discussing these sins. We are to imitate God, and God is nothing like this.

We’ll jump ahead a little bit to Ephesians 5:31-33 as Paul talks about what a proper marriage relationship is.

Ephesians 5:31–32 ESV

³¹ “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

So at the ends of Paul’s thoughts on how a husband and wife should relate to each other he drops this quote from Genesis on us. After God gave Adam and Eve to each other We’re told that the two become one flesh.

The old family is left behind. A new family unit is formed that takes precedence over all other relationships.

And Paul says that’s what happened with Christ and his church.

We were sons of disobedience, following our father – the devil
We are now one flesh, a new family, with Christ

So our marriages are to be pictures of the incredible faithfulness that God has shown for us.

Does casual sex, adultery, pornography, and lusting after everyone but your spouse remind you of God’s commitment to you? Does it remind us of the love Jesus showed by giving himself on the cross?

Instead:

Adultery shows yourself as faithless and putting your desires above your spouse
Lust shows an attitude of never being content with what God has given you
Casual sex shows a worship of your own body above the will of God

How can we expect to see the sacrificial and selfless love of God on our behalf when the only love we have is for sex?

If that’s the love we want then we are not imitating God and walking in love like Christ. We are not children of God, but sons of disobedience who follow the devil, and we will go to hell if we continue in it.

Walk As Light

So Paul has given us a picture of walking in love in the negative – don’t fall for these false loves.

But he’s also telling us to walk as children of light.

Ephesians 5:7–10 ESV

⁷ Therefore do not become partners with them; ⁸ for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), ¹⁰ and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

Paul’s focus here is not just that we are no longer darkness and thus don’t walk the old ways. It’s about our new way of walking – in a way that is good and right and true. Abstaining from the path of darkness does not mean that we are standing still, as if simply not sinning is all that is required of us. As children of light we walk in a way pleasing to God and exposing the darkness for what it is.

Exposing Dark Deeds

Ephesians 5:11–12 ESV

¹¹ Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. ¹² For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.

Now, it’s easy to read this verse and think that it’s up to us to expose people as the wicked sinners they are. So crusades are launched, the Spanish Inquisition is revived, and every gory detail of a person’s life is exposed because that’s what we’re apparently being told to do. I’ve even heard of an elder who would snoop through your drawers and cabinets when he was invited over.

But notice what Paul wants to be exposed – not the people (though we do need to rebuke each other publicly in extreme cases) – but the deeds themselves. Our purpose in walking as children of light and in love is to expose all those false loves and sins for what they really are.

We need to expose their concept of love for what it is – an obsession with sex
We need to expose the idols behind their passions
We need to expose whatever works that are contrary to God and show them as unfruitful works of darkness

By Shining

And there’s a better way to do this than to wag the finger at those outside the church.

We expose the false ways of love by showing them the ideal love of Jesus. Just like holding a counterfeit bill up next to an authentic one highlights the differences – we are to hold up God’s love not just as an alternative love – but the authentic one.

A self-giving, sacrificial love, that doesn’t wonder if someone is worthy of love before being given.

A love that adopts children of wrath
A love that shows mercy to the ones dead in their sins and trespasses
A love that brings our enemies near and makes peace
A love that will suffer for the sake of the beloved
A love that is given as a gracious gift – not because the one who is loved deserves it, but because of the one who loves

All the ways that God loves us, as Paul has been writing.

Becoming Light

So we’re not exposing people to shame them, mock them, or drive them away. We expose the false loves of this world, as an act of love, so that we can bring people into the great love of Christ

Ephesians 5:13–14 ESV

¹³ But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, ¹⁴ for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

When the dark deed is exposed – shown as a unfruitful fraud – it becomes visible, it becomes light.

In other words Paul is saying that when we shine the light of God in our lives people are going to finally be able to take a closer look at what they call love, see that it doesn’t measure up to God’s love – and thus become light themselves.

Paul, as usual, supports this conclusion with a loose quotation from scripture – likely Isaiah 60:1-3

Isaiah 60:1–3 ESV

¹ Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. ² For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you. ³ And nations shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising.

Darkness covers the earth but God is shining on us, so that when people look at us they will also see his light and his glory and come running for it.